7 Views Above

This Apology shall never bridge us for one of us needs the bridging, thus it is a selfish apology. I apologize for my intentions were never to be apologetic but to come out of the sorry state of a person I was so that I would not be sympathetic and insecure towards the genuine affection you impounded into me despite your brokenness in the hope that we could all grow and then mature. Tragically I found myself desiring to be ahead of time so that I could become better for you. How honest is it I apologize to the one who excessed my complex inferiorities after and during plagues of complex inferiorities? Whose complex inferiorities were they? I still don’t believe that I was wrong or that I ever will be wrong but the guilty conscience erodes me now than it torments me. I had to, not that I knew I would or it would elapse the way it did without fruition but it definitely will in the time to come. Maybe when it comes to fruition in the time to come my apology will be of weight yet or but I ...

  You were the faith that intelligence outweighs wisdom and now you have become the hope that wisdom can be purchased for a price. Was the selling price worth it? The buying price was of value though inappropriate to the selling price. The worth that you have is invaluable now though of extreme monetary importance. Maybe if you had your soul, with the worth that you have now it would have been financially of value. The disappointment, insecurities, rejection, trouble, and opposition to your position when building this soul does it outweigh or equate to the comfort of riches that you now possess which devour you the more they grow to become wealthy in value as well as shatter you as their worth increases. You never sold your soul, oh dear ‘soul sellout’ you bribed your soul out. You smile together with them as they weep in laughter over you simultaneously. Now they have the thought that can be invested to become a belief that they can bribe the soul maker to be in the land of the ri...

Does the illumination of the woke blind the enlightened and the enlightenment? A new revelation, being enlightened is not being woke, for you can be enlightened and still not be woke though you can never be woke and have no enlightenment for being woke is a supernatural level beyond enlightenment that the enlightened cannot hold to a deep reverence for it is beyond and above the source of that which enlightens them. I am woke enough and full to the brim to stand then act than advocate for social justice though I do not believe in nor support socialism. I pay the price of being woke for I am not woke for myself alone but for the sleeping dead who if awakened will be woke but will be the woke dead or walking dead. Isn’t it better that they be the woken dead than the walking dead but who am I to declare myself woke and them the walking dead if I do not have the substance then accolades to prove that I am woke to the walking dead? You are the only one with a revelation that has a guarantee...

Guaranteed them happiness, joy, security, and provisions at the expense of my security sowed a hybrid seed of personal insecurity within myself that I could not enjoy or be happy at the fruits of my labor. Though at least I knew my memory would recall the current proceedings in the time to come I would find calm that I was the cause of their happiness hoping by then I would attempt to bring the memory to life in that present time so that I could withdraw and absorb the happiness of the past in the present time I would be for I had failed to find joy and happiness in its current time that had elapsed. For I had shared my happiness with the ones broken in spirit after it had come at the expense of others. A memorial for my happiest memory that I was never happy when it was in its present and still struggle to enjoy in its memory state. I could feel the happiness as my heart was overflowing with joy I could not sense and my mind was numb to the happiness. My conscience could process that ...

How can you reconcile in favor of healing? Reconcile with who? Can you not see the con and conning in reCONcile. You are being conned to heal. In your numbness of pain, you lust for healing, and your hypocrisy in your law of ‘unhealing’ is persecuting you in its ‘righteousness’. Who will you become and what will you be when your identity is infected by healing? You are broken and an invaluable weight unto yourself, for now, you desire to injure the pre-reject yourself for satisfaction.  Heal? From what pain? From which trauma? From whose rejection? Of what disappointment? Heal for whom and for what? Isn’t the pain for the purpose? Isn’t the pain for the purpose! Heal from what when the pain has become numb. Heal? Healing and to heal is anesthesia to pacify the hurt so that they do not harm what broke them which heals them than treats them. Heal till when; when you do not know when your time will come to elapse? How could you heal when the pain has become numb yet you live and survi...

You have driven out its conscience so that its bitter human nature becomes its conscience and tragically your logic thought of it with a cent and sense too short, now it is numb to its self-inflicted pain. The purpose is greater than the pain but You made the pain manifest into bitterness and made it accept rejection externally and then internally for You rejected it for it to accept Your provision. You decided to hold its hand remotely now it uses that remoteness to capture and choke You from a distance. You feel that you should hold yourself to account for what transpired. You think that you must be convicted for what is happening. You contemplate that you are the fault for what continues to falter yet whether You hold yourself to account, conviction, or a fault. You are aware that you are neither the catalyst nor enzyme to the eternal tragedy but you are just a tissue of the science and You are devouring yourself because the catalyst that is the enzyme holds You to conviction than...

You do not want them to repent, you lust for them to confess their sin so that the confession can fuel your pride further that is echoed by pain so that you can continue with your quest of unforgiveness that is a conquest upon you. You do want to forgive however your pride is clutching you captive willingly. Your pride bellows,” After all the time and resources you invested in building pride whose foundation was pain, how could you crucify yourself by humbling yourself to forgive them?” You are feeding them poison as you eat out of their mouth. Now your pride is your demise as it collapses and melts you to ruins before you fall. Your pain is now crucifying for refusing to heal through reconciliation and the unforgiveness you hold on to by a thread has sunk its claws into your soul-less flesh to propel you to surge down to the abyss. Pride cometh before the fall but your demise has dawned before the fall. Your pride is crucifying you for you refuse to do what the Messiah was martyred fo...

  Late repentance? What is late repentance? Late for what? What is there to repent for which is more valuable than what you are not repenting for? They said, “his coming soon and you do not have to be late”, yet his coming soon on whose watch, his or mine? Who defines what one should repent from and show me the value of repentance not vomit to me the spiritual theoretical worth of it? What is repentance’s value or worth if it fails to immunize me from sin? I am far too gone to repent and repentance at this apex is backsliding. I do not see the revelation of myself profiteering from my repentance but melting to a vector that I become collapsed ruins.  It’s too late to release it off you and it’s too soon for you to let go. There is no more time left yet there is ample time for you to continue for the eternality of your mortality. It is your pride and your pleasure, as others wear their pride on their sleeve you cover your soul with the pride of unrepentance. They bleated, ‘’His...