7 Views Above

 They could love you but not be sexually attracted to you but that is them or maybe it's you and some would never love you but give you sex though not out of sexual attraction, isn't it a tragedy that you have met the former than the later now you are identifying yourself as 'a..sex...ual'/ asexual due to the former; however I am not in support of the latter because it is the fear of the consequences of sex that have made you ' a..sex...ual' ! Asexual? Now you identify your sexuality by your situation. You are single, alone and neither loved nor infatuated the same way you cannot love nor infatuate but struggle to lust, so what sexuality can you identify yourself with than by;  'a..sex...ual'  ? Asexual! You are mesmerizingly enticed by the melting attraction of the opposite sex but are not attracted to it or cannot. In the same way, anyone can see something they lust for but cannot love to have, but who would lust after you if you cannot love yourself?

You are persistently persecuted by persistence.   You have been moving daily, but tragically, the progression is not reflecting. Your forward movement is neither progression nor trajectory now but it used to be though not now. You are not quitting neither are you throwing in the towel but you have done more than and all you can with the meager you never had and produced so much of what it is. However it is not much of it, is it? Release your grip on an ending whose duration has elapsed that is now ended and is now living in the current time as if it is now due to you. If you do not it will end you as well only that your ending will be prolonged and if it is prolonged it does not mean that it will end in a new beginning just the same ending in a different time frame and circumstances that will birth another ending that will be nothing new expect of the ending. Others have begun new things and are progressing towards the end of these new beginnings then here you are floating in the abyss

You have burnt a harvest whose seedlings you have not yet planted due to your actions. You were aware of the consequences of your desires but you pursued them with a lustful purpose. You were enlightened of the consequences of your desires but you pursued them with a lustful purpose. Now you are tormented by the thought that all you slaved yourself to build to emancipate yourself is coming to crumble due to the actions of your liberal will. It would have been better for you to be consumed as a slave than as an individual who slaved for emancipation, got it then demarcated themself at the power of the liberal will in their hands. Isn't it better for you to be clawed by the fire of your actions than for the harvest to be razed by the fire due to your actions? Why would the harvest be held accountable for your actions and not you? It would have been better if you lost yourself then posses what you slaved for. Than to have yourself to yourself then lose all you lost yourself to gain. 

  You faithfully believed during its gestation that it would birth to life but now when you look back it was a stillbirth at fertilization. You excavated relationships you had built so that you could sow in the same land seedlings that would blossom to form a foundation that would replace the roots of the relationships you had uprooted. You have persevered but you and I ask yourself as much as I question myself, "And Then?" Have you not persecuted yourself and then cynically labeled it perseverance? There is a wording similarity between persecution and perseverance, read the two words again, perseverance and persecution. Could you have not succeeded, grown, disappointed, rejected and troubled if you had sorely staggered down this assertive 'assertionistive' 'decision' without uprooting the relationships you had built, for as you uprooted them you saw milled yourself as well for you were branched to them.  And Then!  Then and?  And Then?  So tell us now, "