Heal?

How can you reconcile in favor of healing? Reconcile with who? Can you not see the con and conning in reCONcile. You are being conned to heal. In your numbness of pain, you lust for healing, and your hypocrisy in your law of ‘unhealing’ is persecuting you in its ‘righteousness’. Who will you become and what will you be when your identity is infected by healing? You are broken and an invaluable weight unto yourself, for now, you desire to injure the pre-reject yourself for satisfaction. 

Heal? From what pain? From which trauma? From whose rejection? Of what disappointment? Heal for whom and for what? Isn’t the pain for the purpose? Isn’t the pain for the purpose! Heal from what when the pain has become numb. Heal? Healing and to heal is anesthesia to pacify the hurt so that they do not harm what broke them which heals them than treats them. Heal till when; when you do not know when your time will come to elapse? How could you heal when the pain has become numb yet you live and survive with its side and after-effects? You do see the pain within you fortunately you are numb unto it but tormented by its effects. You overdosed and were prescribed bitter pills to diet on so that you could be immune to the pain of the people and persecution by and of the world yet the torture including the torment was in the pills whose purpose was to make you immune.

 How could you forgive if you are unable to forget for you cannot forget because you are the product of that which you are to forgive? Your healing can only suffice if that which hurt you and are unable to forgive can kneel before you and you inflict it with the same pain it served unto you only that when you dish out your judgment you will be wiser and more bitter than before. How could you heal through vengeance? Through vengeance you can heal for vengeance is the treatment process to healing for being numb to the side and after-effects of the pain is not healing. Healing does not require you to be pacified it demands you to be provocative in the name of the pain that has become numb unto it but its effects are visible to you when you introspect yourself than reflect on yourself.

What do you want to heal in your brokenness? What is there to heal in your shattered state? You going for therapy treatment is null for you are not the source nor the author of your pain, therefore you cannot be healed by that which did not author and source your excruciation. Correct? Right! What peace will healing bring unto you? Forced peace? For peace is a force, a silent one. See how in your peace of refusal to heal you are alight in a swarm of anger. Is it peace you need or reconciliation to start the healing process? 

How can you reconcile in favor of healing? Reconcile with who? Can you not see the con and conning in reCONcile? You are being conned to heal. How can you grow with weeds being your fertilizer? You do not see a cause to heal but a calling to soldier on in your pain that has become a torment and you have become one with your torment hence you desire no healing for you deceive yourself that you are numb to the pain.

You are broken and an invaluable weight unto yourself, for now, you desire to injure the pre-reject yourself for satisfaction. You cannot exact vengeance on those who damaged you now you decide and chose to revenge it unto yourself to weigh if you are numb to the pain. Yet in your numbness of pain, you lust for healing, and your hypocrisy in your law of ‘unhealing’ is persecuting you in its ‘righteousness’ . With a seduction mixed with an ounce of venom you are deceiving when you indoctrinate yourself that, “You do not see a cause to heal for but a calling to soldier on in your pain that has become a torment and you have become one with your torment hence you desire no healing for you are numb to the pain.” 

If it were so you would not have partaken in this communication. What do you want to heal from? To heal from your brokenness that transfigured to being shuttered. How could you heal now when you cannot get back what you lost and missed in the pursuit of your healing? Who will you become and what will you be when your identity is infected by healing? When you heal you will lose the burden and invaluable weight on yourself that is injuring you. You will lose? That loss is a gain yet somehow you will feel empty in the beginning but then it will be a process to realize how you will be free. 

For in your despise for healing you are not free but empty hence the grudges in your mocking of healing weigh you down and are not weight but the mass of bitterness within you. How could you heal when you were underprivileged, underhanded, overlooked, and the only time you were not under was when you were an afterthought? See how your disrepute for healing propelled you to unprecedented heights but if you had chosen to heal and then let go of the masses weighing you down don’t you think the unprecedented heights you reached would have become measurable and rather been weighed? Heal to become pacified through being conned by reconciliation?

I profit from driving divisions and factionalism on the Internet then capitalize and simultaneously cash in on people's trauma and personal insecurities. I believe more in shattering broken people than 'Healing' people using mental health BULLSHIT. If I am to ever work on a social project about mental health I must be able to financially profit from it and leave the broken with battered conscience, no soul and inhuman to human nature.