.......And Then?

 You faithfully believed during its gestation that it would birth to life but now when you look back it was a stillbirth at fertilization. You excavated relationships you had built so that you could sow in the same land seedlings that would blossom to form a foundation that would replace the roots of the relationships you had uprooted. You have persevered but you and I ask yourself as much as I question myself, "And Then?" Have you not persecuted yourself and then cynically labeled it perseverance? There is a wording similarity between persecution and perseverance, read the two words again, perseverance and persecution. Could you have not succeeded, grown, disappointed, rejected and troubled if you had sorely staggered down this assertive 'assertionistive' 'decision' without uprooting the relationships you had built, for as you uprooted them you saw milled yourself as well for you were branched to them. 

And Then! Then and? And Then? So tell us now, "What then? Firstly, ask yourself, "And then?" Secondly question yourself, "And then?" In addition tell yourself, "What then and then?" and then simultaneously ask and tell yourself "And then?!?!" 

You cannot look at yourself and with no doubt, you can't examine yourself but it is not about you but for the "And Then?" Was it worth it? Can you weigh the worth of it now? Using the scales of the past and those of the present is the worth weighable or it's a mass that is a molecule of the masses? Did you picture or envision that it would be like this? More realism than the weight of reality. 

You faithfully believed during its gestation that it would birth to life but now when you look back it was a stillbirth at fertilization. With that now, you ask yourself "And Then?" Can you account to yourself and be accountable to the account?

Now that you are in the present and the here of the now, with everything that has progressed and grown in an atmosphere of conflict, doubt, insecurity, disappointment, rejection and the manifesting fear of an unknown lack but still triumphs in 'leaps' and 'bounds' though no triumphant victory to emulate but accolades you ululate on with no emotion, "Was it worth it?" You are mushrooming in a void vacuum but the question is, "And Then?", then the answer is "And Then?" You excavated the roots of the relationships you had built so that you could sow in the same land seedlings that would blossom to form a 'foundation' that would replace the roots of the relationships you had uprooted. And then now it is just and then? A relationship tree with no roots due to your actions is now using a 'foundation' in place of the roots. And Then?  That is sarcastically ironic, how can they hold with no roots! How wobbly and fluid are the relationships on the marshmallow foundation now? 

You have persevered but you and I ask yourself as much as I question myself, "And then?" Have you not persecuted yourself and then cynically labeled it perseverance? There is a wording similarity between persecution and perseverance, read the two words again, perseverance and persecution. Let us believe what you 'believe' that you have persevered and if so "And Then?" Show yourself not me your perseverance. Touch it, examine it then rate it. Reveal to yourself the fruit of your perseverance. If you can't then, "And Then?" or "And Then!" Let us with our wisdom cynically believe that you are being persecuted for your actions and beliefs then you are persevering the persecution but even if we swap perseverance for persecution the question, "And Then?" remains, then when we exchange the question to "Then And?" it still is the question. After all this "And Then?"

And Then, even then if you had not sorely staggered down this assertive 'assertionistive' 'decision', what makes you think that you would not have been in this predicament asking yourself "And Then?"  But honestly, you wouldn't have been asking yourself "And Then?" If you had not chosen this ideation of a decision that shows that you did it without wisdom but you gained and are gaining wisdom from a 'decision' made without insight. But then, can you show the fruits of the wisdom you are now gaining and have gained or it will be another Then And Then?

What have you done? What have you been doing? What has been done to you? What has been outdoing you and then doing you? No, what have you done to yourself? With all these doings and doing then And Then? You uprooted relationships so that they germinate on the 'foundation' you built in the place you uprooted them from but those relationships are lying flat out between purgatory and the hades which is your 'foundation' 

It's been through you and you have been through it but thoroughly though there are no formidable fruits or even Amanita phalloides nor 'sewagetic' garbage. And Then.......And Then.......And Then......And Then. 

Can you undo it? If you could undo it, would you undo it? Just look at it now. No, just look at yourself now? Could you not have succeeded, grown, disappointed, rejected and troubled if you had sorely staggered down this assertive 'assertionistive' 'decision' without uprooting the relationships you had built for as you uprooted them you saw milled yourself as well as you were branched to them.

Tragically you are here now and not there .....And Then? Fortunately, you are not there and you are here now....And Then?