Poor Blessings

I cannot guarantee YOU that when YOU shall bless me to drink of the everlasting water and to gulp the best wine of the land in its gallons I shall not shower the needy with urine then spit salvia of pressed grapes to those who are to be blessed after me. How could I use my blessings to heal and manifest bridges for others when I refuse to be rehabilitated by the blessings in favor of being treated by the penicillin of constructing walls between the productive blessed land and the arid void dessert; when my blessings have the supernatural power and not supranatural ability to make the dry bones live again as well as to give a fulfilling everlasting life to the living dead who have an identity crisis whether they are the living dead or the dead living? Has the pain I have gone through spiritually eroded my human compassion and conscience that I see myself first before the BLESSER when the BLESSER commands us to envision others first before self? Is the flesh in lust for the blessings of the spirit to manifest to materialism that will heal the human conscience and compassion eroded by the spirit in its crusade for GOD's favor that harvested poor blessings? What is spiritual superiority if it cannot manifest itself in the flesh and materialistically? 

Dear GOD, I cannot guarantee you that when YOU bless me with what I am hoping for in faith I will remain faithful to the ordinances of that which manifested the blessings unto me. It is a revelation from a mere mortal to a supernatural that I will, I shall not be a mere mortal unto myself but shall become the supernatural higher power unto myself when the power above all supernatural and higher powers bestows upon me the blessings of power and in abundance. 

In my pain and brokenness, you shall bless me to fulfillment according to YOUR purpose but in my brokenness and pain, I shall heal myself with alignment to the desires of my pain and not my pride, my brokenness, and my unforgiveness. Dear GOD, when you bless me, how could I stretch a hand when I know that my arm will not be prolonged? For those who stretched their hands unto me did so out of pity, not genuinely. 

I cannot guarantee YOU that when YOU shall bless me to drink of the everlasting waters and to gulp the best wine of the land in its gallons I shall not urinate on the needy then spit salvia of pressed grapes to those who are to be blessed after me. If YOU are to bless me how can I remain poor but I am for living in the revelation that when YOU bless me it shall be poor blessings for I shall use my blessings to mentally excruciate then hurt those who despised me in my poor state when YOU were working on my spirit behind shut doors. 

How could I use my blessings to heal and manifest bridges for others when I refuse to be rehabilitated by the blessings in favor of being treated by the penicillin of constructing walls between the productive blessed land and the arid void dessert when my blessings have the supernatural power and not supranatural ability to make the dry bones live again as well as to give a fulfilling everlasting life to the living dead who have an identity crisis whether they are the living dead or the dead living?

Has the pain I have gone through spiritually eroded my human compassion and conscience that I see myself first before the BLESSER when the BLESSER commands us to envision others first before self? "As your soul prospers spiritually so should you", the Clergy and the 'anointed' communicate and vomit respectively. Has my spirit become the flesh or has the flesh transfigured itself to be the spirit? Does the spirit desire blessings of the flesh or the flesh is lust for the blessings of the spirit to manifest the materialism that will heal the human conscience and compassion eroded by the spirit in its crusade for GOD's favor that harvested poor blessings? 

How could they be poor blessings? How could blessings be poor? How can the Blesser who is the giver of the blessings be poor? How can conscience triumph over spiritualism? How can the flesh feel less pain than the spirit? Does materialism heal the disease and pain brought by the quest for spiritual superiority? What is the eternal value of spiritual superiority if it cannot manifest itself in the flesh and materialistically? Blessed are the poor for they are rich in spirit and rich spirit but I dear Blesser would rather be the poorly blessed with poor blessings for my spirit is rich according to what it can touch, use and weaponize to secure then concentrate its blessings.  

Broken enough to be aware that my blessings can heal me if I am willing to be the answer to someone's prayer yet I consciously and premeditate to remain shattered for if I stretch my hand my arm will not be extended to the measurement of my fulfillment. Is fulfillment measured or weighed? Traumatized for such and such a duration that my blessings cannot console me as long as they are secured to rot within myself when they could be external if shared with the unknown to me and to that with whom I have no connection. Whom do you have a connection with besides your blessings that are invaluable to you in the long run? See how poorly blessed you are when blessings from a supernatural form begin to have an expiry date and erode you as if you got them from a supranatural power?

 Pained, shredded, and torn to the angle that the only way you realize that you are blessed is if you use your blessings to the affliction of others after you forcibly make them realize they might be cursed when they start comparing and measuring their blessings to yours. Tragically blessings are not measured but weighed and the abhorration of it is that their curses outweigh your blessings for yours are poor blessings. Heal then enjoy the blessings for until you rehabilitate they will erode you than for them to be devoured by moths of the earth.