Connection

How do you expect yourself to be someone’s responsibility when you cannot account for yourself? When you reach out for connection you oppose the engagement for you are tormented it will inject your insecurities which you ache to be healed from. Due to the lust for connection, you stand tall to compromise your standards to have a say but no communication with the hope the say and the responses for it can sum up the void of your lack of communication disseminated by your fear to connect. You want to connect with the sympathies to your brokenness being the ticket instead of engaging with honesty that can build you not mend you. Thus, you flash your pain in vast illuminations for it be unseen by those whom you desire to connect with so that they will not feel guilty for turning a blind eye to pain that they never saw. 

You are here, tragically you were present before you appeared, together you are one with them though your presence is absent. You move together with a union with no purpose but with a plan that you are attached to, though not intimate with it. You are part and parcel? No, you are just part of the parcel and the parcel can be mailed without you. You are lonely for you have attached yourself to those around you dismally with no connection, for you are empty whilst being fed with pleasures that give you no satisfaction. As you smile in line with the mood that is disassociated with your attitude the mood is affected by latitude that is propelled by an elapsing hype that has no roots to the foundation of your attitude hence you smile with no happiness, joy, pleasure, and satisfaction.

 Though you yearn to connect. Introspection,” Do you yearn to connect out of the desire to belong or in the drive of pressured pleasure to be part of it but not connected for you can be part of it then it will attach you to it hence you become its attachment, not connection.” Plagued by broken self-esteem that you are attempting to mend so that it can be shattered low-self esteem for you to have a start, you are scared of being detached in your shattered to-be state. Hence if you become detached you collapse into your shattered state back to your broken self.

Can you connect than relate? You could relate though have no connection; you want to drive the relation to be a connection but how could there be a connection when you are shattered? You desire other people’s wholeness to mend your shattered state as if they broke you hence you desire to attach yourself to them so that you can switch the attachment to a connection, but how do you expect yourself to be someone’s responsibility when you cannot account for yourself? You marred yourself in quarantine to hinder yourself from attachments that were portrayed to be viruses but were the antibodies that would make you stronger, now that quarantine has become isolation for you, even when you are bailed from that quarantine the isolation is with you mentally then psychologically. 

In your isolation you are attached to yourself and when in quarantine you have no connection with yourself. When you reach out for connection you oppose engagement for you are tormented it will infect your insecurities which you ache to be healed from. You want to connect with sympathies to your brokenness being the ticket instead of engaging with honesty that can build you not mend you. Thus, you flush your pain in vast illuminations for it is unseen by those whom you desire to connect with so that they will not feel guilty for turning a blind eye to pain that they never saw.               

  

Now a vibration is a connection, for a connection to you should spark you than ignite you. A connection with yourself does not even spark you to ignite your desire from a second and third party when you are forcing yourself upon them. You vibe to the rhythm with no cause to disco out the isolation in you with the hope that the rhythm can connect you with those who are in the disco with you but not for you and neither are you for them. Due to the lust for connection, you stand tall to comprise your stands to have a say but no communication with the hope the say and the responses for it can sum the void of your lack of communication disseminated by your fear to connect.

Are you genuine enough to connect with yourself before you pursue relationships? You are in the same place as some people though no similarity with them to be identical. In a happy space with a vacuum soul that desires an atmosphere of joy for it to connect to the happy space, for it to a happy space is identical to being out in space with no astronaut gear. A happy space is drowning in outer space out of the earth. What do you want to connect for? What you want to connect for, you will not get it from whom you want to connect. It takes trust and time for a connection not to ignite a spark, for you, your insecurities have made you impatient for a connection that an attachment to you is now a connection through a void dry connection.