The Rapist's 'Conscience'

As her thick and dark skin continued absorbing the sun’s rays and its heat, she began to have arousing flashbacks of her sexual satisfaction which was now ordeal trauma for her rape victim. She looked at her reflection in the rearview mirror of her car and attempted to look within herself but unfortunately, her thick dark skin was a barrier as always. Did she rape someone? No, she used financial coercion for sexual pleasure therefore it could not be sexual coercion even though there was no consent. She questioned herself and her own human nature whereby her human nature had become her, “Why do you desire sexual coercion over sexual consent? You could have the latter than the former.” For if you had a woman’s true beauty with no complex inferiority you would have never had the human nature you have now to use financial muscle to aid coercion for sexual pleasure. Beauty lies in the hands of the beholder, but your beauty makes the beholder contemplate if he or she is lying to himself or herself. 

There were multiple ways she could have gotten herself sexual pleasure instead of using coercion. If she was a man she could have used male masculinity, however as a woman she used her financial prowess to commit the act of rape. She lowered the car seat of her convertible motor vehicle and let the roof of the car slide back in a desire to have the sun rays penetrate the dark areas within her soul but tragically the sun rays could not penetrate through her skin for her skin was thicker, colder and darker than the grim darkness inside her that needed the sun to set a blaze on it. What tormented her most about her act of rape was that she was failing to have a guilty conscience. Had the pleasure and satisfaction of sexual coercion overwhelmed her more than the guilt? If there was ever any guilt. As her thick and dark skin continued absorbing the sun’s rays and its heat she began to have an arousing flashback of her sexual satisfaction which was now ordeal trauma for her rape victim. All she could see in her flashbacks were the polarized pleasure that silenced the inaudible pain of her victim yet the pain was visible. Her own conscience was choked out by her human nature which had become inhuman.

She looked at her reflection in the rearview mirror of her car and attempted to look within herself but unfortunately, her thick dark skin was a barrier as always. She caressed herself, “How do you feel now? Well, I feel satisfied and pleasured at the same time. Though I wonder to myself how long will the pleasure and satisfaction last? I believe for one to have pleasure one must feel pain however for me I felt the pleasure at the expense of someone’s pain that was inaudible and numb to me yet visible. No wonder I am asking myself,” How long will this pleasure and satisfaction last?” Did I rape someone? No, I used financial coercion for sexual pleasure and it cannot be sexual coercion even though there was no consent. There is no pain without gain, as for me I gained as I gave out the pain but the gain seems to be fizzing out sooner than I expected. I thought the gains and the pleasure would be part of me till infinity yet my human nature is inhuman has devoured the pleasure and it, my human nature is now lusting that I feed on more sexual pleasure by use of coercion and not consent. I question myself and my own human nature whereby my human nature has become me, “Why do you desire sexual coercion over sexual consent? When you could have the latter than the former?

Her thick dark skin absorbed the heat of the sun but somehow she never felt hot nor irritated by the negative effects of the sun. She began to allow her human nature to severely choke to death and cremate her conscience that was gasping for its last breath, “Why do you desire sexual coercion over sexual consent? You know you could have the latter than the former. If you were capable of having sexual consent over sexual coercion you would have not used financial prowess to fuel sexual coercion, would you? Who would have sexual consent with you? Look at yourself? You struggle to even look at yourself in the mirror. Would you have sex with yourself? Thick, cold and dark-skinned.  Beauty lies in the hands of the beholder, but your beauty makes the beholder contemplate if he or she is lying to himself or herself.  No man or anyone of the opposite sex would want to arouse you sexually thus why you used coercion on a person of the same gender as yours. Then used financial muscle to fuel that coercion yourself and make your victim’s pain inaudible for you but do you think your victim’s pain is inaudible to her, your victim? As much as your human nature has no conscience it is human too. Therefore, it might not have a guilty conscience but its human side might wonder how the human it hurt feels. How does the human it hurt feels? How will my inhuman nature wonder how the human it hurt feels when it only feels and desires pleasures with no regards to the cost of the pleasure even if it means crucifying itself for its own pleasure. You became a rapist because you could not find sexual consent when you had the financial privilege and blessings for sexual consent but not the physical and facial attributes for sexual consent. Therefore you found yourself using your financial muscle to fuel sexual coercion that you would use to nullify your rape victim’s victimization. Your complex physical inferiority could not be bought out by the finances, so you thought your finances could silence your rape victim’s pain that was inaudible to you but torture to her. However, you find yourself and your human nature trying to comfort yourselves that you did what is just according to your inhuman nature yet if it was just you would have not been trying to convince yourselves. Either way, you have done what you had to do to satisfy yourself. For it is not everyone whose human nature is satisfied by consent, others like you need coercion to sexually satisfy themselves for it is what you are. For if you had a woman’s true beauty with no complex inferiority you would have never had the human nature you have now to use financial muscle to aid coercion for sexual pleasure.”