GOD's Protective Hindrance

He became dry after being made to drink the waters of GOD when he was thirsty. GOD was not protecting him from anything but GOD was hindering him from himself to be what he had to be than wanted to be. The protection he had received from GOD plagued him with personal insecurities and wondered if it was protection or hindrance. For the pain he was protected from GOD as he saw it behind his fortress of a prison cell of protection was a pleasure. For with a liberal conscience that is not polarized it is not GOD’s protection he was against it was GOD’s hindrance that he wanted to protect himself from.

He cursed at himself as he strolled from the church street to his illustrious shack. Cursing at himself what he wished he could have cursed at GOD but knew that he was doing it indirectly. The Bible that was clutched in between his barren hands he then left it on top of a fertile trash can opposite his neighbor's residence. He breathed widely then with rage exorcised to the Heavens trumpeted, “GOD what is it exactly that you are protecting me from? Maybe that is the wrong question “What is that you are hindering me from?”” He drowsily wondered to himself if he was the problem to himself or if his GOD was the tragedy of his desires. He no longer felt GOD was protecting him but was hindering him from what he desired. How he became dry after being made to drink the waters of GOD when he was thirsty, for he went from being thirsty to drinking the waters of GOD that made him dry and desiring different waters which GOD was protecting him from. Hence he began to see the protection to be a hindrance.

He echoed as he dabbled his way to the entry of his illustrious shack, “Protecting me from what GOD! No, GOD is hindering me. I do not even see what I am being protected from though I can envision what I am being hindered from by GOD. Freedom of thought and freedom of will to be liberal, that’s what I am being hindered from by GOD. GOD is not protecting me from anything his hindering me from myself, hindering me from what I have to be than want to be. All these years that became decades you were of GOD. Being protected by GOD but has the protection given you security. The protection of GOD has resulted in you being plagued by personal insecurities. Now his protection of you has become a hindrance. Hindrance from what? Being myself or being what I envied to be but without a desire or passion to be what I envied? Well, how could I have been what I envied to be when GOD’s protection was hindering me from what I desired to be? Now I find myself cursing at myself than holding GOD accountable for what I am. What I wanted was the unjust rage that would consume me than being engulfed by the Holy Ghost Fire that I realized was razing me down. Now I can be myself without fear of GOD and his protection that was hindering me but the question is “Can I be what I desire to be then can it fulfill me and give me the pleasures I yearn for without harming myself to an extent that I fail to enjoy these pleasures?”

“…..Give me pleasures I yearn for without harming myself….” He simultaneously proudly and ignorantly chuckled to himself, “Give me pleasures I yearn for without harming myself! What pleasures have I received whilst GOD was protecting me? How are envy and insecurities pleasures? Maybe what I needed and desired was GOD not protecting me from the beginning, not being in his protectorate. Then I would have never had this problem. For his protection became a hindrance. I began to fear doing what I lusted for I knew GOD’s protection would distance itself from me. “What I lusted”, No, what I desired. For my desires, I had to align them with GOD’s protection and once I realized those desires did not align with GOD’s protection they became lustful desires, therefore I could not pursue my desires because GOD’s protection hindered me from my desires. No, I curse myself, asking GOD why I am what I am and was GOD protecting me or hindering me. For if it's the protection I was receiving from GOD I see no harm that was to befall me than the victim I became to GOD’s protection at the expense of my freedom of thought and freedom of will to be liberal. For the pain I was protected from by GOD as I see it behind his fortress of a prison cell of protection is a pleasure. In other words, the pleasures I was hindered from by GOD as I observe them from behind his prison cell of protection should be pain and torment yet it does not seem so. It is one thing to feel empty and another to feel unsatisfied but when you are blessed with both emptiness and pain which you were made to believe is for your own good you then begin to contemplate whose good is it unto. You or the one who is telling you it is for your own good. Should GOD’s protection be satisfactory? Well, I believe the harm from what I am being protected from is more pleasurable than satisfying from what I am being protected from.”

At this pivotal than climax point I am no longer allowing GOD’s protective hindrance to stop me from doing as I desire not as I please, therefore I cannot be lawless unto myself but extremely liberal unto myself. GOD’s protection was a hindrance to what I desired to be; now I envy that which became what I desired to be for it never had GOD’s protective hindrance. NO!  GOD’s hindrance. For with a liberal conscience that is not polarized it is not GOD’s protection I am against it is his hindrance that I want to protect myself from.