The Fear Of Sex

"Your future will become a doomed history in the waiting for your soul will be tied with a person and people who have a dark, void and burdened current state." 

She lay bare on the bed with her legs wide open and her vagina was braced for the main event of the day. At that moment excitement fused with fear and contemplated by doubt ripped then shredded me apart. I had always fantasized about the pleasures of having sex but was tormented by the outcome of it as I had been indoctrinated to believe. If the physical curses were not to haunt me, the spiritual and soul ties would torment me but I had to make a choice to either engage in sexual intercourse or not.

The voice of Excitement lured me towards her and began to seduce me, "It is nothing but just sex. Well for you it is something though, for it is your first time but after that, you will then realize it is nothing but just sex. It will be over before you even know it, go ahead and cure your urge that has been tormenting you for ages. Now your fantasy will become a reality and it will be more than what you were fantasizing about. All those sexual positions that you had put in prison in your mind shall become free to liberate you from sexual prison. It is your first time and fear has you clutched in its jaws but the best way to fight fear is to wage a war against it, yet this before you is a fantasized fear. The fear of it will be over as soon as you make the first move." I seductively moved towards her and swiftly pulled her towards me, then tragically Fear aided with tormented Doubt haphazardly dragged me away from her. 

My feet began to sweat profusely whilst my head and armpits were ironically dry. The voice of Fear and Doubt viciously rebuked that of Excitement, "It is not just sex and you know that. You have not experienced the spiritual and soul-tie curses but you are aware of them. You have seen those who are haunted and then tormented by them and you are definitely sure you do not desire to become like them. They appear to be happy but do not have joy. You do not know who else the woman before you has slept with. You are not aware either of those who have slept with her is sleeping with and have slept with them. Your pure soul shall be blemished by vicious curses that you will utterly fail to understand nor have control over. For they will be other people's curses whom you do not know and these people know how to survive with their curses but you tragically do not know these people nor the curses and the remedies to the curses. So how then will you solve or survive a curse that you are not aware of in its context? If you are not infected by sexually transmitted diseases you will be enslaved by sexually transmitted demons. Furthermore, that which you fantasies during masturbation will not be that which will happen in reality." I frantically picked up my clothes removed the condom and dreadfully opened the door. During that process the 

voice of Excitement was applauding and screaming at me for being a dismal and certified stupid coward.

The voice of Excitement mercilessly punched me back into position, "You are afraid to lose your virginity after all you lost it to yourself in the first place. Tell me, with all the logic that you possess and still possess that is aided by academic intellect do you see any logical reasoning and fact in this false doctrine of soul ties? You are being made to believe sex, a physical action has spiritual and soul-related consequences? Can your certified intelligence not see that there is no logical or wise reasoning in such an assertion? This religious doctrine of 'soul ties' is adding more weight to weigh you down from not just being independent but being liberal in mind and spirituality. Is this doctrine serving you or you are serving it at the expense of your liberal nature? For how long will you bound yourself in prison due to this false doctrine? For how long will you continue to be a slave of excessive masturbation and being in sexual prison due to the fear of a false doctrine? Soul ties are an over-marketed and falsely advertised doctrine. You are aware that in all honesty it is not just embarrassing but a pitiful and disgusting disgrace to be a virgin at your age as a male or man. Aren't you ashamed to have knowledge but no experience? Aren't you exhausted from erecting your own penis? You cure your masturbation addiction by sex, not prayer. You can stupidly choose not to do it now but later on, you will wish to have the atmosphere you have now which you will never get back. Hence it will be an awful experience compared to that which you are plotting on letting go of now. The pornography that you inhaled will all go to waste if you do not do it now. The time that you fantasized about sex will go down as wasted time if you fail to indulge in sexual intercourse. This is your first time seeing a vagina in reality and you are chickening out, like seriously? I frantically threw my clothes away. Ripped open a new condom, put it on with ignorant excitement and firmly locked the door. She looked at me with a venomous glee in her eye yet it was so tempting. 

"Do you not know that he who sleeps with a harlot becomes one with her." The voice of Doubt used fear with a religious scripture to thwart me away from a venomous yet sweetly tempting woman. How was she venomous? The voice of Doubt and Fear continued," "For how long will you continue to be a slave of excessive masturbation and to be in sexual prison due to fear of a false doctrine?" It is now a false doctrine unto you because you desire to defy it to feed your physical nature. If you do free yourself from this sexual prison you definitely will liberate yourself into an abyss of eternal chaotic doom. Hence you will wish to be in prison again, for this sexual consequence of soul ties is beyond a scientific chemical reaction for it can not be reversed. It is not impossible to reverse but it can not be reversed even by prayer or the blood of the Messiah and you are aware of that. Your future will become a doomed history in the waiting because your soul will be tied with a person and people with a dark, void and burdened current state. You will be judged and punished for the sins of a father who is not yours but that of another man and woman whom you would have become one in soul and spirit due to sex. You will be tormented by generational curses that have nothing to do with your own family nor are linked to your family all due to a sexual soul tie. Pornography is not sex neither is masturbation. You have the desire for sex but not a passion for it. Religion does give you liberal choices but beware of the infinite tragic consequences. Do as you desire." I sat on the bed next to her. I was then left alone and in despair. The voice of Excitement then departed from me followed by that of Fear and Doubt which became dead silent. I was then left desolate to confront my fear of sex alone and then her supernatural forces pulled me towards her.