A Dictator's Sorrow

You cannot heal the wounds of this current generation you have destroyed but you can save future generations from the pain you are capable of causing them. Doing the right thing is haunting you but you would rather live a nightmare than a daydream. You become more fragile as you wield more power.

They told me to resign or to give them their liberal rights. Agreeing to resign was a sign that I would have paved way for liberal rights to come into action. Agreeing to grant their liberal rights was a sign that I had paved way for them to force me to resign from power. So I could not agree to give them either. Knowing very well that it would be my demise. It is not that I did not care for the people I was leading but I cared too much for them not to spoil them with liberal or democratic fantasies. I had seen a vision of what Libya was to become, so I had to hold on to power by employing an iron fist. For I cared for my people to not become like Libya. 

A Dictator's mind, "I can see through their deceit at a personal level and not at a national level nor community level. They lie to one another and tell each other, " Let us unite to remove this WOMAN from power, for she is nothing but a Dictator who has not given life to our liberal rights

and is suffocating our democracy." Yet each of them at a personal level either desires to be me or have a chance to sit and dine with me over the land's best resources. Such hypocrites. But out of all honesty though, why should I resign if I am more than GOD on this earth? So that they can have rights? I do not think so. Not at my expense, they can try somewhere else. I know that the very moment I let go of this power they are going to want the gains of this power and leave me to become worse than them so that they can use me as a testimonial reference from Glory to the Grass. Not with me my people. I would rather opt to continue vying for your blood so that I continue living above life. Then have you vying for my blood so that you can continue surviving? After all, I have the iron fist, the arms and vast resources to remain in power. Even up to the end of the afterlife. Whilst you have hope, internet threats and cheap bar talk demonstrations. That end as just talks. So let us see who can outtake who. To live a life you have to take a life. To live the LIFE you have to take out many lives."

A Dictator's sorrowful heart responds to a vile mind, "You know being merciless aches and hurts you from all three elements of your life. It hurts you from the mind to your heart and then finally to your soul. Has much as you hold on to power it will corrupt you. Look at what you have become. If you can even recognize what you have become? You have become a Dictator not because you want to but because it is what you think will keep you alive. It is what you think will give you sleep at night knowing very well that you have more than what you desire. Yet you know you do not sleep but just rest your eyes and keep your mind alert for you are insecure with yourself. Knowing that an uprising or worse a revolution can start against you. Yet here you are, with all the arms, vast resources and an iron fist

you are proud to pose it fuels your insecurities that you can not find peace with yourself, for you have not given peace to those you ought to. You fear letting go of Dictatorship and giving people their lives back that you took before they could live them because you do not want to be labeled as weak by yourself and other powers surrounding you. Do you honestly think with the pain you have caused these people if you resign and give them the power they will put you on the receiving end of the stick? They will pardon you of your sins. Instead of waiting for tables to turn and these angry people find you vulnerable, they will do unto you as you saw the Libyans do unto their dictator Muammar Al Gaddafi in your vision. Maybe the vision you had of the Libyan leader Muammar Al Gaddafi was not meant for you to increase your concentration of power but to end it so that you can begin a new life. Where is the MOTHERLY love as a WOMAN for your people? Looks like men and women are all alike when it comes to power." You can not heal the wounds of this current generation that you have destroyed but you can save future generations from the pain you are capable of causing them. Doing the right thing is haunting you but you would rather live a nightmare than a daydream.

My mind thought the words of the heart but concluded that the heart is below the mind in terms of thinking capacity. Thus why the mind or the brain is above the heart in the head and not below where the heart is located. " A poet once said, " Merciness is never the goal. Do whatever is necessary", NAS. It is not as if I am serving a physical genocide against my people. It is a psychological genocide, at least they can breathe but not live. Tell me, would you rather have both a physical and psychological genocide or just one of the two? Better being half dead than be fully deceased. My people know that if they rebel against me, they can end up being like the people of Libya. Wait they have not foreseen the future of Libya. Even the seers or prophets among them. But they have seen something similar to Iraq. So they fear winning a rebel or revolting war and fail to live to see the gains of it. So fear of winning a rebel war and failing to see the gains of it plus my own

well-oiled armed iron fist will keep the status quo at 'balance'. The heart talks of me giving the people their lives back, that I took. The moment that I give them back the lives I took, they will see an opening for liberal rights. That they will use as a weapon to take me out of power. The heart is ignorant to an extent that it fails to realize that its desires that have been fulfilled are so because it has been in power long enough to live to see its desires fulfilled. Now it has no desires left and plans to throw both of us to the wolves that we have made to starve at the peril of our over vast greed. I can not take a gamble to give the masses power, they will massacre me. Especially these men. They will rape me and these women will take the extravagant clothing I possess. Dear heart it is not just that I became a Dictator but I became a Dictator so that I can live above my desires and not survive. Would you like to survive? My name will be penned down in the history books. I do not care from which angle, for as long as it is immortalized in history. I definitely will not live to see the glory of my name in the history books but I will pass on knowing I will be glorified or despised. That there will make me rest in peace with a piece of mind. Or I can just make them write a biography about me when I am still alive. I make sure it is published in an angle that praises me and it is studied more than Shakespeare and Machiavellian literature. Make sure it is adopted into the education curriculum and it becomes a religious book. You are a healthy heart because you are more than taken care of. " Democracy is for the weak but just remember you die on the sword that you live by. 

The heart's final response to the mind is, "The desires I have are so because of you. I have corrupted desires because you are corrupt. I realized that it is either I adapt or I perish. If you could look at yourself and me. You could see how rotten we all are. I wonder if I can still love anything besides power and the gains of it. They said "You are a witch" and I ask myself is this what I have become? Or I could become better. The moment I desire to become better, I am reminded that I am the life

source of a Dictator. Just a life source. If the heart could think, would it think like the mind? Isn't the phrase a cold heart not a cold mind? Where is the love of a Dictator? Who defines what a Dictator loves? She is just a Dictator. Does it not hurt you to be the cause of tears for many? Maybe it does not hurt you, that is why the mind is heartless. Do you love your wealth as your mind convinces you? Your mind convinces you as if it is the heart. You do not love your wealth as you are made to believe. Take it from me. After all, how can it be possible that which you love is capable of paining you? The love for your wealth is the cause of the pain in your mind. Your thinking process is more than biased, it is delusional. You are a victim of your psychological warfare against your people. You fall by your sword. They, the people might not see you cry for the pain you cause them. Just like how you do not see yourself cry for the pain you cause yourself. Yet your reflection in the mirror is a distressed woman afraid of what she might do to herself with power. Ironically, you comfort yourself in your Dictatorship state and you become more fragile as you wield more power."