The Favourite Daughter

The time I spent investing in her future is nothing compared to the time I am to serve in jail, I can serve one jail sentence and another seven jail sentences and it will still not be half of the time I spent investing in her future. I want my dues.

It went from love to envy then finally murder. How could I have done it? When it was love did I ever think it would become murder? When it was envy did I ever think it came from love? When she was my favorite, did I ever think she would be the one I would despise and hate the most? The one I would take life away from.

She was not my only daughter but she was the only daughter whom I saw had a bright future. Neither was she my only child but she was the only one who held the keys to a better life for all of us. What she desired, I got her an imitation of it. So that she could relate, as for the other children they had to work hard for themselves to get what they desired. For I could not get what I deserved. I was investing myself in her bright future so I could share it with her, only to later find out I was not going to be part of it as I anticipated. If she could have a bright future and I could not have an active part in it, then she did not deserve to have a life in that future. For I invested in that bright future and I want my dues. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar.

" She was your favorite daughter, your favorite child.", they said. They continued, " Why did you do it?", they asked. I did not even know why I did it. Why did I kill my lifeline of support? The one that I sacrificed the most for. Well, I learned my lesson, some sacrifices are not worth it and she learned hers, to appreciate sacrifices the way they must be done.

Where did my envy begin? Why did it begin? What would solve my envy? From the most loved child to the most hated.

I was right about her future. It was bright. Brighter than the rest of my children. Was it because I invested in it? No, it was already bright before I even thought of investing in it. I was watering a field ready for harvest. Only to find out that after the harvest I would not consume as much as I hoped to. That hurt.

                                    

She was earning much, and from that much, I earned all of it from her first earning and I deserved it. She was earning because of me, her other siblings were not earning as much for I never invested in them, for I saw no need to do so. They never had a future in the first place. Her second earning missed me, and so did the third, and the fourth till I got her earnings once in a blue moon and they had decreased to two percent of what she got. Which was less than what I had invested in her by far. Maybe her other siblings were earning as much or even more but I never looked into it because I had not invested in their future.

" So you did this horrible act because she no longer was your financial aid? Your crutch? This is what she told us from her 'grave'. Is it true? Or there is something else to it?", they began again. Then there was silence. They added, "You know what you have done is 'murder' and your other charge is attempted 'murder'."

There was something else, envy. Yes envy. The new man entered her life and promised her that they would build a life together. Just the two of them, without me. How would that make me feel? Knowing that I was not going to be part of that life. Part of that new future that I laid a foundation stone on.

That man should never have ever made it into her life the way he did. I could have stopped him in his tracks but I overestimated my value in my daughters' life and her future.

She owed her future to me and in no way was another man going to get a place in her future to harvest where I irrigated. Share the same life. Share the same future. Share the same earnings. If that man was going to share the same earnings with my daughter and I also wanted those earnings which I now got once in a blue moon. Would I then get them if that man was there? No, not. If I could not get the earnings of a future I invested in, then nobody can. Whether it is combining ideas or joining lives to be one, no one can reap my field. So I decided to burn the field. Exhume it all to the ground or even below it.

They continued asking, " You are a man. Can you not stand on your own two feet? Like you have been doing for the past four decades. What type of man destroys his family? Is your problem

generational? Did your parents do this to you? Did your grandparents do this to your parents? Were you supposed to pay dues to your parents, and fully support them financially when you started earning?"

I am not aware if my grandparents did this to my parents but I am fully aware my parents did this to me and all my siblings. So it may be generational. I also did it to my child. At least one, not all. If all were like her then she would not have been in the situation she is in now. Wait I cannot blame it on her but myself too. For playing favorites. Putting all my eggs in one basket. When I could have put the other eggs in my other children's basket. Now, look at me. A 'murder'.

What if my other children were like her? But I just did not see it because my attention was on the one field I invested the most in if not all. Now I can not be a shareholder or an executive member in that field. So I burnt it to the ground, that field can not enjoy its' own produce. Justice.

"You are a man. Can you not stand on your own two feet?" I stood on my own two feet for her. So that she can balance on her own and start moving. Moving towards our bright future, until she made it hers.

They asked another question for the final time before they left, " Why have you been silent and not answering our questions? Do you know the amount of time you are going to spend behind bars?" Before they left, I responded with a deep laugh as they looked at me with disgust. Then left.

Her husband must see me now as a terrible in-law. Well, he must not see me in such a way, for after all, I am the reason he is a husband. I could have invested in my sons' future and not my daughter's, so he must grateful. I could have believed in male patriarchy but I did not.

How did I put my daughter on a deathbed? How did I burn the field that had grown plentiful? How did I end up under investigation? How did I end up facing jail time? How did I end up being charged with 'murder' and attempted 'murder'?

I stole my daughters' credit cards and bank details. Stole the credit card that belonged to her employer's company. Then transfer all the money to a charity in Haiti and another transfer to military forces in Syria. She also could no longer enjoy the field that she was in. Justice. She went into trauma and got admitted to a hospital. The company retrenched her and sued her. She sued me in return, how ungrateful. How can she sue me when I have nothing because of her?

I am one of those parents who invest in their children's future so that I can reap the fruits of it. I send my children to get an education and then employment so that in my 'old' age I no longer have to work but reap where I sowed. Forgetting that the field needs to enjoy its products too.