HELP ME!

I have had internal seizures that are not physically felt or seen by the naked eye. Internal seizures are only seen by myself and those that battle for my mind and body. The demons. You can see me well positioned in structure. You can see me sitting next to you in the park. Yet the honest truth is that my body is on the ground or on the floor. Vibrating and shaking violently. It is a whole different level of seizures. I can not even look at myself when I am in the process of having seizures. For if I will vomit my soul out. Even if I do vomit my soul out, you will not be able to see it.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Have you ever had experience with evil/demons/Satanism? Have you? I have and still am. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night, screaming and yet no one can hear you? In a house full of people. Have you ever walked during the day gasping for breath? Because a snake is coiled around your neck but no one can see it. No one can even feel that you are gasping for air even when you are next to them or talking to them. Have you ever been in a church sermon physically but not there spiritually and mentally? Because your spirit and mind are planning to end someone's life the following day? Have you? I have.

Have you ever asked for help but the message never got understood yet it was received? Have you ever asked yourself which one of your family members are you going to kill first in order to continue living? You fail to choose which one you are going to kill first, so you decide to make the choice by a criterion of the last one to wake up tomorrow morning is your kill. Have you ever been promised a cake and then get raw flour instead? That is how it feels to share your life with a demon.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Have you ever battled with a demon to control your own mind? Because whoever gets control of the mind first wins the battle. At worst have you ever gone to war with a group of demons divided amongst themselves to take control of your mind? Another pulls you from the left. Another pulls you from the right. Another from the east. You (me) from the center. I screamed Jesus! Screamed Allah! Screamed Pope John Paul, yet to no avail. Then you ask yourself (myself) " Why? Why all the pain? What am I getting in return? Raw flour?"

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Have you ever woken up in the morning with an infinite amount of money on your bed? That if you spend a certain amount of it, it will reproduce itself on your bed seven times more or six times more at least.

Vision this. Me staring through the vehicle window, seeing poverty in the streets. Beggars of different age groups. People are queuing at banks to get no money. Informal employment tortures the millions. Retrenchment. Then me with an infinite amount of money but a slave to the demons. Who's better off? Me or them? Me having an infinite amount of money that could solve all the problems I see? Whose happier, me or them? Them? Do you think they? ( Or do I see problems that I can solve and not those I can not?)

Help me! Help me! Help me!

                    

No, it's me. I am the one with an infinite amount of money that could solve informal employment and retrenchment. I am the one with an infinite amount of money that could turn the beggars' life around. I am the one with an infinite amount of money that could end bank queues. Yes, that is me. See how important I am. See how powerful I am. I can do all these things but I cannot. It will not allow me.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Better me than them. Better me gasping for breath than them suffering financially. No, I am better than them. It is just something I tell myself when I which rarely happens. Me being myself. I wonder if it's me or the demon writing this.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Have you ever despised people's pain to console your pain? I do. When I get the chance and opportunity to do so.

Last morning, I woke up with blood on my hands. Blood dripped out of my mouth. Have I tried to recollect what took place, the demons had come to collect what was theirs? Me.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

I have been to church to seek help. When the package of help is offered to me, I neglect it. I neglect it, not the demons. I think sharply, Should I let the infinite amount of money go? Should I choose to become a beggar? Should I choose to be informally employed? Should I choose to lose myself to please the demons and get an infinite amount of money? I choose wisely. You know what I chose.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Have you ever heard people bring out their fears? They fear an economic recession. They fear climate change. They fear Human Immune Virus (H.I.V.). Yet there I am knowing that no matter the situation, I am safe. I have laughed at Christians who pray out their fears to GOD. Asked me, " Why they have not made the decision I took?" Get a demon. I sleep better than them at night whilst they hold on to their false faith. I will have food on the table. Clothes to wear. Strong finances. But ironically I can see these things but never feel them when I use them. A confession. The infinite amount of money, I never feel it when I use it. I just use it but never feel it. Maybe the demons do.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

We just lost a family member and I am aware of the reason. But I do not mourn. The demons do not mourn, so I can not either. Remember when I mentioned that I was going to kill one of my family members so that I can live? Well, I just did. Or did I? Or was it them or it? The demons or the demon? It's not that I can live. It is so that they can live. Do you think I am living? Oh yes, I am living, look at the infinite amount of money I have. That I do not enjoy.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Have you ever tried helping your family with finances? Paying for your own social welfare including theirs. Yet you just can not do it. You fear they will ask you where you are getting the financial resources. So you have to watch them struggle when they could be living large. A nobody like me with an infinite amount of money raises eyebrows. Maybe I should just tell them and the demon will flee in fear of what my family might do. Oh, I should not forget, a family member's blood is on my hands.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

How did I get the demon in the first place? Did I agree to it? Was there a deal? I do not remember. Even if I do remember, will I let it go? No, will it let me go? Do I want it to go? Should I let it go? Do you want it? A man suffering from an addiction is in a better place than I am.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

What exactly does this demon do for me? Other than producing money that I do not use. What does it do? It takes away my life. I have no life other than the life it lives through me. The pain hurts, the infinite money is a pain killer. Why don't I just let it go? It will not let me go

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Earlier this morning I tried to struggle with it to gain control of myself. It was pulling the other half of me and I was pulling the other half of me. I had decided it was time I become an exorcist. To exercise the demon. My mother saw my inner seizures surface. She held me, and it was the last time she would ever hold anything. My mother had become a distraction in this tug war and she paid the ultimate price, her life. I could not lose grip of myself.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

The demon was losing but I was to lose an infinite amount of money. It made me remember that. " Let me live so you can be infinite.", it said. Maybe I should let it live. What life was I living after all? All I know is the demon and demons. This is how life is for some of us. " Let the demon live.", I tell

myself.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

More internal seizures. More blood on my hands and in my mouth. More family members are going to die if they are any left.

Maybe you are just like I and your demon has given you grace time to read this. How should we help each other? Let's share ideas. Shall we pray? Attend sermons? Seek for exorcists?

Help me! Help me! Help me!