Intoxications My Messiah

If you can not run do not ever convince yourself that drugs will make you sprint, though the same drugs/ intoxications can be the catalysts for happiness and open-mindedness. Let the mind educate the heart.

Maybe one puff and one sip will open my mind. Maybe two long puffs and two huge sips will make me do the impossible and finally believe that nothing is impossible. Maybe the whole blunt and the whole bottle will make me one full whole, not a fraction. Or if I consume six bottles of hard liquor and six-packs of nicotine fused with marijuana maybe I can come up with the right words and actions to impress and make her love me. With all the self-respect I have for myself I have decided to resort to drugs to become what I desire. I do not desire to become a drug addict, but I have come to realize that those who use drugs or intoxication are who I desire to become when behind closed doors. Even though in the back of my mind I know it is killing them slowly but at least they have something to die for and are living in the fast lane. Unlike me, I am living an ordinary life and there is nothing extraordinary or desirable about it. I am tired of walking, I need to fly and drugs will make me do so.

A voice from my heart, " If you can not run do not ever believe that drugs and intoxications will make you sprint. If that is the type of distortion that you have about drugs then I fear what you will become when you are intoxicated. I fear that you will commit suicide internally when the drugs and your messiah have intoxicated you and you are still the same or worse, worse than you are when sober-minded. I see you intoxicating yourself with more till you become less. You desire what they are from the outside but you will not wish to see more of what they are on the inside thus if you get access to their insides for a minute. Has logic failed you to opt to desire for addiction? Logic will never fail you, you will fail it. What are you and who are you? Maybe if you can answer that you will not see drugs to be your messiah. They are not drugs but intoxications. You will make yourself mentally paralyzed whilst you have a high IQ."

                                     

A voice from my mind, " Think of completing a one-hundred-meter race in six seconds at best and six and a half seconds at worst. Think of being happy before, during and after the use of drugs. Are you happy with your life? I do not think so, wait I know so because I am you. Let us say you lie to yourself that you are happy. If you were happy would you be opting for drug use? Use drugs do not abuse them. Do not let your heart and your judgmental society make you believe drugs are intoxications. How is a catalyst for happiness and open-mindedness toxic? The pity that consumes you behind closed doors and then makes you ashamed of yourself and lose confidence in the open is a disease that can be cured by these drugs that are labeled 'toxic'. If Doctors treat cancer, diabetes and other diseases with drugs, are the drugs then toxic? Each patient requires different drug prescriptions. HIV/AIDS needs Anti Retro Viral drugs, you with low self-esteem marijuana and heroin. Food for thought for the heart from the mind. Just remember the drugs be it marijuana, codeine syrup, alcohol not beer, nicotine or whatever it is have a mandate and objective of curing you not treating you. Balance me here and show me the logic of the following statement, " When drugs are being prescribed by the Doctors and Pharmacists to attempt to cure health problems it is legal but when drugs are being used to heal the wounds in the mind and the scars on the soul it is illegal? They want to heal your health and leave you diagnosed with psychological and spiritual pain. Do you not see how it is an illusion and you will keep on being sick till the prescribed medication is the daily bread that will never heal you when you could have prescribed yourself the real drugs? Ecstasy is one."

                              

The heart's love for me then made a counter-argument to save itself from pumping intoxicated blood that would lead to the demise of it, me and the mind, "Completing a hundred-meter race in six to six and half-second? See how your reality is already distorted before you even start using intoxication. What then when you begin? It is not your thought process that I fear for alone but your health as well. I wonder how it will feel to have a distorted mind because of drug addiction and a decaying body at the same time that is a breathing corpse? You definitely can afford the intoxicating drugs but not the treatment drugs for the after-effects. Do you believe you will be happy as your mind convinces you? How can you be happy when your mind and reality are distorted? What will be your source of happiness when you have run out of these intoxicating drugs? I love you the way you are and what your mind envies is not what your heart desires. If self-pity consumes you behind closed doors and you take in intoxications to cure it, just be aware that when you have 'cured' yourself your conscience and your mind will not even be aware that you had a disease that needed to be cured. Then that is how you will lose control of your addiction. You need someone to talk to. I believe therapy and counseling sessions will help. Maybe go into rehab before you start using intoxication and before you become an addict. You will make yourself mentally paralyzed whilst you have a high IQ. "

My mind's response to the heart was based on reality, truth, pain, logic, honesty and not assertions of what could be but facts of what is and will be, " Are you hurt by me being happy? Even if the happiness is a short-term and short circuit I deserve it. For I have been patiently waiting for the long-term happiness that seems to not come and will not be equivalent to the one I see before me aided by drugs my messiah. Do you believe in your capacity as a heart I am doing this because of peer pressure, an attempt to be noticed, to fit in or accepted? If you believe so, then you are as distorted as you claim I will be when I start intoxicating me. Let the mind educate the heart, not the other way around. When the pain of not being enough strikers me behind closed doors, it does not strike the heart but the mind, and from there on the mind THINKS of a solution to treat the pain. The mind questions itself not the heart. Love is a matter of logic not feelings. That is why it is called a headache, not heartache. It pains you to lose your loved one from the mind then to the heart not the other way round. If it pains you from the heart to the mind then your logic is structured wrong and deserves to be re-designed from the beginning. I believe it is better to be an addict whose happy than a straight-edge person who locks himself or herself behind closed doors and then cries themselves to sleep wishing they could do what can make them happy but the heart holds them back. It is called FEAR. Smoke and inhale that marijuana, look up to the clouds, see beyond the clouds and see the sky break and Heaven opens then descends its glory upon you. Ever wonder why drug users are better than you in every aspect of social life? That is the answer there. You will follow your heart which will be easily broken and shuttered to pieces. Hence becoming an emotional wreck when you could have made a logical decision. "

Do you believe intoxications will save you? Intoxications? How much does it hurt to have a sober and sound mind? How relieved does it feel having an intoxicated and distorted mind? How does it feel having drugs as your messiah?

If you have not accepted drugs as your messiah please try. For they will save you from your misery.